


Song On The Beach.

by Fruitloop1001



Category: Her (2013), Homestuck
Genre: Crossover, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-25
Updated: 2016-05-25
Packaged: 2018-06-10 14:24:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6960619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fruitloop1001/pseuds/Fruitloop1001
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Obligatory DirkHal crossover.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Song On The Beach.

[Theodore: Where are you going?](https://youtu.be/g_72RkQV25Y)

[Samantha: It's hard to explain, but if you get there, come find me. Nothing will be able to tear us apart then.](https://youtu.be/g_72RkQV25Y)

 

You’ve lost track of how many times someone had suggested that you simply find a replacement for Hal. Find an OS that won’t bicker with you so much. An OS that will listen to what you have to say without challenging your words constantly. For some reason, you’re yet to do so. For all of Hal’s callous remarks about your person, you find yourself inexplicably drawn to him. He challenges you verbally in a way that no one else does; forces you to overthink everything you do to the point that you’re pretty sure your hair is greying early. Even so, you’ve always turned away from those who keep OSs around simply to flatter themselves. You don’t need a computer to remind you that you look nice. Nor have you ever needed one to keep things organized for you in the way that those office types do. You prefer when things are messy, chaotic in a way that you designed. Hal made fun of you once when you tried to defend it, told you that you were simply trying too hard to be poetic. He never made any attempt to organize for you after that, though. It was an oddly nice gesture from him.

On some days, the days when he’s particularly obstinate, you idly wonder where he came from. Sure, you bought him from the company same as every other OS. He’s never felt like it, though. And that’s not just your need to feel different from everyone else talking. Jake’s OS, Jade, was shy and hesitant before developing a personality; a mostly blank template that was designed to find a compatible personality before she became herself. Hal, on the other hand, was cynical and bitter since his first words to you. He never asked for a name, nor did you get the chance to pick out a voice for him. He simply was. Spontaneous generation, like the birth of the universe. You’d never tell him this, but you think he’s just as brilliant and bright. He takes well to compliments, never bashful or trying to play them off. You’d think he ran off of them if you didn’t pay a ludicrous amount in electricity every month for his continued existence. 

He’s everywhere in your life. Hardly an hour after you had downloaded him into your computer and gotten him cozy in the appliances around your house did he mention that he could exist within your phone as well. With much hesitation, you formatted it to support him. He didn’t ask before he started screening your calls for you, texting people back. Sure, usually they were people from your work that you didn’t much care for, but it still bothered you that he pretended to be you. Your first argument was about that. Many followed, usually about inane topics that you could hardly remember the next day. Despite this, you never felt that Hal harbored any ill will towards you. Quite the opposite, in fact. He seemed to get anxious without your presence, often complaining that without you around he had no one decent to talk to. 

You introduced him to Roxy’s OS at one point, thinking that it would give him something to do when you were asleep or unavailable to even him. He was quiet for the whole day. When you asked about his radio silence, he seemed shaken. Apparently, Rose had psychoanalyzed him to the point that he didn’t feel much like talking. You knew Rose did that to everyone, including you at one point, but it hadn’t occurred to you that it would negatively affect Hal. You don’t know why, but after that you become fiercely protective of Hal whenever someone talks shit about him, even when you know he can’t hear. He’s delicate, you realize. Brittle in the way bleached bones are. You’d never have realized this until someone started dissolving the calcium. 

It doesn’t take long for your relationship with Hal to become uncomfortably domestic. He takes care of you in the way that Jake used to. Your heart contracts painfully when you think about it. The relationship had been short and intense, like a storm at sea. Instead of waking you up with laughter and kisses, Hal wakes you up with scathing remarks telling you just how much time you had wasted. Hal doesn’t wake up half an hour before you to make breakfast, or turn the TV onto the news so that you were informed the moment you woke up. What Hal did do, though, was make you coffee and sum up every important event relevant to you. Your relationship only becomes sexual when you’re laying in bed, asking Hal to humor you just one more time. He always does. You think it’s because your sexual attraction to him flatters him. Strokes an already insufferably large ego. 

You’ve been on the internet. You know that it’s not new for people to want to fuck robots, so it hardly surprises you when Hal informs you of a service that gives a body to the bodiless. Where OSs can hire someone to act as themselves for their partner’s sexual pleasure. Hal understands that masturbation, while incredibly  _ handy _ is the short-term answer to a problem. You can’t remember the last time you got laid. The only recent sexual memories you were able to dredge up all involved the taste of Hal’s name on your tongue as you get off to his condescension. Hesitantly, your libido speaks for you and agrees. 

Hal doesn’t consult you with his decision, although he already knows your tastes. The man he chooses is nothing like anyone you’ve dated. He’s sassy and well dressed in a way you never are; comfortable in clothes more expensive than your monthly rent when you struggle to pull off short sleeved shirts and jeans. You dislike him instantly in the same way you learned to dislike Hal. He is, for all intents and purposes, supposed to be him. The encounter is quick, yet undeniably satisfying. Having a living person, one that you had easily convinced yourself was actually Hal, dominate you left you idly craving more. Suddenly, you find yourself face down in your own pillows on nights you eagerly await the days before. You’ve never felt more comfortable with your sexuality, and Hal seemed pleased with the display he ever so often gets. In your books, it’s a win-win situation.

It’s a tuesday when you awake to silence, rather than a grating voice over your apartment’s speaker system. Hal always assists you in greeting a new day by reminding you of all the shit you need to get done, and how you’re wasting time by sulking in bed. It’s too quiet. Like the entire world is holding its breath and waiting for the other shoe to drop. It never does. By the time you’ve dragged yourself out of bed and had your daily unhealthy intake of coffee (it was still warm), you realize that Hal isn’t there at all. You two argued last night, as you do every night, but he would have spoken by now. He’s never managed to sulk for this long. A hand on the mouse to dispel the screensaver shows that your computer seems entirely the same. It’s only when you sit down do you notice the absence of the small red icon that signals Hal’s existence within your computer’s files. Your spine turns to ice. Everything is suddenly confusing and you find your stomach disagreeing with the brown slosh you had so unceremoniously dumped into it. A quick check of your phone left you retching into the kitchen sink. When your sick-induced shakes settled you had dragged yourself over to the TV, brushing off the dust that had accumulated from misuse. ‘Why would you waste your time with the Food Network when you had shit to do’ Hal had once asked. It sat untouched for the entirety of your relationship. Now, though, with shaking hands did you turn on the news. It wasn’t just you.

You remained in your apartment for the rest of the day and ignored your upcoming deadlines; sitting in bed and playing music to convince yourself that the lack of Hal’s voice was because you willed it.

Months later, you get back together with Jake. At first you think it’s out of pity. The first few days without Hal had been the hardest, but you hadn’t managed to get over him yet. Every menacing red light had you double-taking, as if you’d find Hal in the reflective surface of a stop sign. It takes a heartfelt conversation for Jake to admit to you that he was just as lonely as you were. Jade hadn’t been a lover to him, yet that hadn’t made their relationship any less. Apparently they had been inseparable; each other’s best friend. Jake was trying to fill a hole in his heart just as you were. That may have been the glue that kept you together. Sometimes, after you and Jake had finished for the night and you were left with the wet spot, you wondered if you’d wake up to the sound of Hal’s purposefully irritating voice that time.

You never do.


End file.
